Thursday, September 20, 2012

Gleecap: Glee 4x02 - 'Britney 2.0' Recap

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Well, another week has gone by, and you missed yet another episode of Glee? Tragic. Why? Because this week was Britney 2.0. And it was 2 times more fun than the first Britney episode. And unless you're a hater, or a Christina Aguilera fan, you should never have missed an episode as epic as Glee 4x02: "Britney 2.0". But in case you did... here's a recap:

The episode opens up with an epic "Voiceover" from one Brittany S. Pierce. She's going to be senior class president fo' lyfe. Why? Because it's Brittany... bitch. (queue epic "Hold It Against Me" dance).

Sue kicks Brittany off of the Cheerios because her grades are too low. While she's trying to instill some "tough love" on our beloved Britt, "Tough love feels a lot like mean". (queue broken heart.)

Brittany and Santana are Skyping. Santana is trying to comfort her, but she's super busy. Plus she blows Britt off when she wants a Scissor Skype date later. (Queue downward spiral).

Will and Emma are concerned about Britt since she was kicked off the Cheerios, so Emma gives her a "So You Look Like Crap" brochure. So they plan to bring Brittany back with Britney 2.0. (queue "Boys/Boyfriend" mash-up... Despite Blaine's rapping, it was quite good).

Kurt and Rachel move to the ghetto for a meer $1800 a month... Yay roomies!

Turns out, Cassandra July is the biggest trainwreck in Broadway history... Kurt's words, not ours.

Marley's diggin' Jake a little bit... Wade.. or Unique -- I'm not sure who's who -- says "uh uh girl! He's a womanizer!" (queue "Womanizer).

Since Cassie said that Rachel wasn't sexy enough, she thinks that adding Brody to her dance should help with that (she's right)... and even though Cassie doesn't allow upper classman to dance in her classes, Brody agrees to do it.

Tina, Teen Jesus, and Trouty Mouth decide that they want to sing a sweet acoustic rendition of "3". I'm not sure what it has to do with the episode. But after it, Brittany tries to shave her head. The Glee Club stops her though. But it doesn't mean that word of Britt's downward spiral hasn't spread across the school. (Queue Britt beating up JBI, and awkward passerby screaming "Leave Brittany alone!!").

Marley meets up with Jake and they sing a sweet rendition of "(You Drive Me) Crazy/Crazy". It was really good. And I think that I ship Jarley hard. Really hard.

Brittany found a new best friend in KiKi - Siri's really smart cousin. The Glee Club thinks she should be the lead performer at the pep assembly. She agrees... as long as she lip syncs.

At this point, my television turned to Cinemax. Ironically, on this channel, Rachel & Brody were singing a hot rendition of "Oops!... I Did It Again". And quite possibly they may have had sex through a table... I'm not sure...

Naturally, Cassie didn't like the rendition, so Rachel called her out for her trainwreckiness, and Cassie kicked her out of class.

The jocks keep making fun of Marley's mom. Marley stands up for her, and Jake decides he wants to, too... by beating up the jocks. At that point, Schue steps in, and brings him to the choir room to meet....

Puckerman... Noah Puckermann... As in, Jake's older half brother. Puck tells him that Glee made him a man. Basically he made me... and likely Gleeks everywhere cry. And he told him, that he was indeed his brother.

Brittany takes lead, as requested, in the assembly. They sing "Gimme More". But she lip syncs. And everyone can tell because she's eating Cheetos & drinking Orange Soda the whole performance. Plus she's barely singing... it turns out to be... a trainwreck. She passes out.

Schue gets really mad that they lip synced the song. It's the biggest debacle in 58 years... even moreso than the "Tik Tok" debacle.

Rachel apologizes to Cassie. Cassie makes a point that she had one chance, and she screwed it up... Just like on Broadway. Cassie picks on her students because she wants her to be ready. But luckily, school policy allows Rachel a second chance.

Sam confronts Brittany. He knows she's hitting rock bottom. But Britt wants to make a glorious comeback. But Brittany is sad because she misses Santana... Not just because she loves her. But also because she's her best friend. (queue tears).

Brittany demands to get back on the Cheerios... as a presidential demand first. But then also, because she got a C-, and so Sue let her back on the Cheerios.

Brody comes over to Rachel & Kurt's apartment... right after Rachel puts Finn's name in a heart on their apartment wall. Brody brings an orchid. Also sweet words. Also a hot body. I'd have kissed him. Rachel didn't. But Brody wanted to. I also ship Brochel... HARD.

Little Puck decides to join Glee. He wants to hang with Marley when he does. Marley's excited about it... until she realizes that Jake is dating Kitty... ew.

Marley sings "Everytime" in glee club. Queue everyone being sad. Britt misses Santana. Marley is sad that Jake is dating Kitty. Brody wants Rachel... And basically everything is heartbreaking.

Basically this episode was probably my favorite in about... 30 episodes. AND definitely in my Top 5 of all time. Glee... you're making a comeback... A glorious comeback... Like Britney Spears. I laughed... SO MUCH.. I cried. I felt feelings for all kinds of people in this episode. Just like old times.

Can't wait for more of Season 4.

-Bonnie & Whitney

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