Saturday, May 5, 2012

Gleecap: Glee 3x18 - 'Choke' Recap

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In case you've been living under a rock. Or in jail. Or underwater or something, and you happened to miss tonight's emotional roller coaster or an episode, and no we're not talking about their senior skip day at Six Flags a few weeks ago, we're talking good ol' fashioned gut wrenching cries, then here's what you missed:

Rachel Berry of Season 1 invades Rachel Berry of Season 3's body, and she starts working on her morning regimine, working out, practicing her acting, and making sure all superstitions (and metaphors) are in place before her NYADA audition. Gold star for you S1Berry.

Beiste shows up to school with a black eye. Insert Chris Brown joke from Santana here. Black Sue & Original Recipe Sue aren't havin' it.

Kurt wants to do Phantom's Music of the Night for his NYADA audition. Tina helps him practice. She doesn't look involved.

Puck thinks he's not going to pass his geography class. So, he starts mackin' on his old balls teacher... He just wants a D-, and she just wants her thighs tickled. What? Queue School's Out... I guess?

Both Sues, aka Sue & Roz go to preach to the sistah's about domestic abuse. The girls aren't registering, so Roz tells a personal antecdote about her aunt. #ImpressedByNeNe. So they challenge them to sing a song about it.

Since Blaine doesn't have much of a storyline, they had to throw something his way, so he tells Mike how to wear hair gel. Ugh. Gross. Don't do it Mike, you don't want to look like him. I love you just the way you are.

Finn riles up the boys to help Puck pass, so that he can graduate.

Hummelberry scene in the hallway about NYADA auditions... TBD later in the episode.

The girls choose Cell Block Tango as their song about domestic abuse. The cray cray girls obviously miss the message of the assignment as pointed out by Roz. But they did all manage to look hot while singing about murderous uncrimes.

Beiste had to walk out because as it turns out, Cooter hit her. And Beiste is afraid to leave because she's scared that no one will love her again. Consider. Heart. Broken.

Puck decides he wants to drop out of high school... Until his Dad shows up and asks for money. Puck gives it to him, but it inspires him to work hard and graduate. So he and the boys cram for his geography test! Queue a catchy rock rendition of The Rain in Spain (a little bit later in the episode, of course).

Time for the NYADA auditions. Kurt makes a last minute decision, because Whoopi (aka the NYADA dean of vocal performance and song interpretation), is their judge and he doesn't want to play it safe. So he decides to sing Not the Boy Next Door, and he absolutely kills it. #DivaKurtIsBack #MoreSeason1Feelings Not to mention the Season 1 Regionals dresses are brought back. Say whaaat.

Rachel decides to go with Don't Rain on My Parade. As we all know she kills that song... usually. Tonight... she chokes.

Beiste tells the girls what really happened, and that she decided to move in with her sister, Denise Beiste.

The girls decide they owe Beiste an apology, and a real inspirational song. So, they sing a stripped down, yet still incredibly powerful version of Shake It Out. And you decide to cry.

Oh yeah, and at the end of the song, turns out Beiste gave Cooter a second chance. She just was too embarrased to tell anyone.

Puck takes his test & he feels great about it!

Rachel sings Cry because she doesn't know what to do about her future since she choked during her NYADA audition, and all the while it turns out Puck actually failed his test. It's a mess at McKinley. And it's a mess in our hearts.

And that's what you missed.... on Glee!

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