Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Gleecap: Glee 5×12 – 100

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Hello friends! Here we are! Back again for another week and here I am trying to make sure I can keep up with recaps and overcome my laziness. If you wanna see what went down last week on Glee, you can check that recap right here! This will be filled with spoilers of the 100th episode, though, I like ot think you probably figured that out already. Alright, let’s quit fartin’ around and get to the business! Here’s what happened on Glee!

Everyone comes back to say goodbye to the Glee club.

Rachel and Mercedes are already fighting in their voiceovers basically. They haven’t even come face to face yet!

April Rhodes comes back for this special occasion and rallies the group up to sing “Raise Your Glass”. Don’t worry she brings non-alcoholic beverages for them…except for the flask that she has strapped to her thigh. It’s a really fun number and it makes my heart happy to see them all hopping around and singing in the choir room together again.

We see that Puck is still feeling Quinn but she’s brought back a really douchey, yet good looking, boyfriend. He doesn’t know the real Quinn though because she’s hiding everything from him about her past, including but not limited to, her relationship with Puck, when she got a tattoo, when she smoked cigarettes with pink hair, when she had a baby and yes, when she had sexy times with Santana. Hey, I wasn’t for it, but it happened. IT’S RELEVANT.

Such feels. Much soulmates. Wow.

Brittany is back and stressing out about being a friggin’ genius, the genius we all knew that she was. She wishes that we could just got back to the good ol’ days when she wanted to scissor Santana and hang out with Lord Tubbington. Us too Britt-Britt, us too.

To lighten Brittany’s stress level, Santana suggests that we get a little three way….number going with the Unholy Trinity singing “Toxic”. I don’t honestly even know what to say about it. Seriously, words cannot describe what I saw and felt when I watched that.

Quinn’s boyfriend didn’t even pay attention to the number which means he’s either hella gay or just couldn’t care less about anything involving her. Puck notices. Actually, the entire glee club notices.

Mercedes, Kurt and Rachel all decide to sing “Defying Gravity” to have the last ever (at least in the choir room) diva-off. The winner is yet to be determined.

Kurt and Blaine have a long engagement which just spells disaster and April basically tells them that. She’s so smart. No comment.

Santana really wants Brittany to start dancing again and to embrace it and in order to have her do that, she sings “Valerie” while her, Mike and Brittany dance. Brittany also gets down on some of the vocals and it is an eargasm to the highest degree. (Can we also talk about how Heather had a baby but she’s out there busting a move and looking perfect like nothing came out of her body? Insane!)

Puck decides to sing one of my favorite numbers every on the show, “Keep Holding On”, to Quinn. For a moment you think that she’s gonna love him back after they recreate the number but it turns out she just isn’t feeling it. The number recreation definitely included the stage dancing in the background which just made it that much more emotional and perfect.

It comes time to vote for the best diva and before that can happen, Santana interrupts to throw down some epically mean insults to Rachel which causes her to rush off.

April keeps trying to keep the glee club alive by using the money that she paid for the auditorium but those funds ran out awhile back and all of her current accounts are frozen. That April Rhodes, always falling into money and then losing it immediately!

Will gets mad at her for giving him hope about keeping the club alive. It’s sort of sad.

Quinn tells her boyfriend Biff about her tattoo and that she had a baby and he gets really mad at her and calls her a whore or slut bag. Either way, she gets mad and really shows him by grabbing him by the nose to scold him.

Puck then punches him into a dumpster and tells Quinn that she can either choose that loser or come hang out with her real friends in the choir room.

Mercedes and Rachel make-up and decide that they no longer want to have a diva-off and become friends again. It’s perfect because back in the choir room, the class decides that Rachel and Mercedes are equally talented. Yay!

April reveals to the club that she has a special guest of her own that is there and it’s none other than the best substitute teacher that ever existed…Holly Holliday!

She thinks it’s lame to remix songs they’ve already sang so she sings a new one, “Happy” by Pharrell.

Quinn and Puck share a moment as they gaze as Finn’s retired football jersey. Quinn admits that Rachel was Finn’s soulmate. Puck admits to her that she is his soulmate and that if she told him to stay, that he would. And guess what everyone? She tells him to stay! My heart is just like…so huge right now and it hurts. I love it so much! QUICK FTW!!!

In another room, our favorite (or mine, whatever) ship is basically having the same conversation. Santana is telling Brittany that she needs to get back on track and have fun like she should be doing instead of doing math all the time. Also, that she should be out dating.

Brittany retaliates by planting the best kiss in the history of all kisses on the show ever and in life and help I’m not okay a kiss on Santana and telling her that she’s sure her girlfriend is great (which, I mean she is, it’s Demi) but that she loves her and knows that they are supposed to be together. And if Santana wants her, Brittany will be there for the taking. PLEASE SANTANA DONT BLOW THIS. I WORKED SO HARD TO TRY AND GET OFF THIS SHIP. JUST LIKE ROSE, I WAS IN A LIFE BOAT ABOUT TO BE TAKEN OFF BUT OF COURSE I JUMPED BACK ON. LOOK AT ME HERE I AM. SO EMOTIONAL.

Credit goes to Bless you.

Will gives another speech in the auditorium about how great glee club was and how he was honored to be a part of it. Even though Will is a creepy pedo man at times, I can’t help but just weep right here on my couch as I see my precious glee club approaching the end.

At the end of the episode, Holly and April decide that they are going to do everything in their power to save the glee club!

And that’s all that happened you guys! I can’t wait to see what happens next week. We’ll have plenty of Quick which might I add, I ship the absolute crap out of. As well as some more Brittana. Maybe even a Brittana conclusion. WHO KNOWS!. SO MANY THINGS.

Join us on Twitter next week during the episode for more Glee watching and probably an uncontrollable amount of fangirling!

Until then friends..Peace.Love.Glee.

Whitney & Bonnie

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