Monday, September 26, 2011

If Wrote 'I Am Unicorn'...

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[SPOILER ALERT] We have taken what we have heard from Twitter and/or forums & put our own spin on it. Some of what we say in the following post are spoilers, may end up being spoilers, or may not be spoilers at all. Read at your own risk! [SPOILER ALERT]

If we had the chance to write I Am Unicorn, we're not sure we'd do it the same way the writers would. That's probably why we're not the writers....

But we thought it was fun to talk about what we'd do anyway, and we thought we'd share our ideas with you.

One thing we've realized is that for the past two seasons, there's always been a sex riot in the second episode. Think about it: First season, they had a sex riot when they performed "Push It"... and Second season, well... who could forget the #BritneySpearsSexRiot.

So how would we write the second episode of the third season? Well, it goes back to the old saying: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." We all loved the sex riots, so let's put one in there.

Judging by the song selection of the second episode, it looks like there might not be a sex riot. Never fear, we still have hope in Sugar. If Bonnie were to write 3x02, Sugar would single handedly start a sex riot... Almost like a runner-up to "Trouty Mouth"... Maybe Sugar will sing a horrific song that gets "strangely sexual". Since we know JBI wants anything with legs, maybe it will trigger the riot, and ere go the ceiling fire sprinklers. Think you can live up to it, Vanessa Lengies? :)

If Whitney, on the other hand, was writing 3x02, she'd have the sex riot come straight from an apparent dance number that's coming up from Ms. Heather Morris. See, we're not sure when this dance number is coming, but it was tweeted about, so we know it's within the first 4 episodes. We'd like to deduce that it's coming from a well-loved Beyonce jig (again, we don't know...) but if that's the case, Whitney's thinking HeMo will get down and dirty, making JBI squirm... and also make you want to throw up in your mouth.

Let's go with scenario #2. Say HeMo does do a little jig to cause a sex riot... Why would she be doing it? How about for her apparent run for class president. Maybe, when she decides she wants to run the world, she'll do a little jiggy to show her skills. We know she proves to be a favorable candidate, so how does she win people's hearts? Two words: Sex.Riot.

On the other hand, Whitney has this brilliant idea that she decides to run because she's managing Kurt's class president campaign, so he's the first person she brings it up to... we're not sure if you've noticed in the previews, but she's got a rainbow-colored flag while she's talking to him. Maybe he's her inspiration & she's a "gay-friendly" leader.

And if were writing it... we'd make this happen. Then we'd have Britt's "gay-friendly" campaign inspire Santana to come out... but, you know... that's if we were writing it.

Mainly, what we really want to change about this episode, is the music selection. Since they're limiting it to 3 songs, we wouldn't have Blaine sing a solo. No doubt, we love Blaine just as much as the next girls (not necessarily true, but he is smokin' hot. That we can agree on.) However, Blaine just joined New Directions. We don't need him taking over just yet. How about getting a Mercedes solo up in here. Or a freakin' Tina solo?! Yeah, that's what we would do...

Or, better yet, let's just add more music. Let's have a song that's 1) not from a musical and 2) a song that Mercedes or Tina... or Puck or Finn... or anyone else for that matter could have fun singing.

Other than that, we're fresh out of ideas. So... we'll leave it to you! What do you think Gleeks? If you were writing I Am Unicorn, how would you write it? Leave a comment below, or tweet at us: @TroutyMouthBlog


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