Since there was a hiatus, you probably forgot that Glee was even on anymore, which is silly because we basically couldn't imagine what we'd do with our lives if it wasn't... no but seriously, that's a legitimate concern... anyway, if you forgot to set a Google Alert or an outlook appointment to remind yourself that Glee returned from hiatus last week with 4x11 "Sadie Hawkins" then a) kill yourself and b) as if... and c) here's what you missed:
Sam thinks that the Warblers cheated at Sectionals. Blaine says he has to prove it. So he's determined to do so. Queue an impersonation of a superhero probably...
In the meantime, Sam's froggy lips are super chapped. So he borrows chapstick from Blaine. Blaine basically feels an instant connection through the chapstick that was just touching Sam's trouty-Aerosmith lips, so now he's in love with Sam. #BLAM!
Then we go to a Student Council meeting. Apparently Glee Club also makes up the Student Council board. Tina proposes a Sadie Hawkins dance. Sugar and Sam agree. Girl Power!
Since there's a Sadie Hawkins in action, the obvious lesson for the Glee Club is 'Ladies Choice', so the girls have to sing to the boys before they ask them to the dance.
Tina goes first, since she was the one who wanted the dance in the first place. And she sings I Don't Know How to Love Him to... Blaine. You heard. #BlinaAnderchang2013
Unfortunately Blaine tells her no. (Insert sad face emoji here).
Kitty has her eye on Jake, so Brittany tells Marley, "Girrrrrrl, this can't happen, find yo' power!" (well, not in those exact words). So after a magical turn, she and Marley sing Tell Him. It was excellent. Then Marley asks Jake to the dance and Brittany asks Sam.
Kitty, who's clearly not thrilled about the Sadie Hawkins situation, tells Jake to dump Marley... and basically throws herself at him, offering to satisfy his needs... Don't be a slore, Kitty.
Tina talks to Blaine. She apologizes for being insensitive - she knows he's had issues with Sadie Hawkins in the past. But she also requests one, because she was humiliated. Poor Tina.
Then Blaine reveals that the real reason he can't go to the dance with her is because he has a crush on Sam. Poor Tina.
Then Blina agrees that they go to the dance as BFF's and enjoy the "most fun night ever"! Poor Tina.
Jake asks Puck for advice on Marley and Kitty. Puck tells little Puck to stay away from Kitty. What cute bros.
Unfortunately, Puck doesn't take his own advice and he goes to Kitty to tell her to stay away from Jake. So she acknowledges it by asking Puck to go. He agrees as long as she pays for everything. Classic Puckerman. (We know he doesn't go to Jared).
Glee Club, as always, is responsible for the music at the dance, so... queue No Scrubs... which doesn't really fit into the storyline... but it's a fun, well done song, nonetheless. I dug it. Plus-- classic independent black woman, Artie Abrahms takes some of the lead. LOVE that.
Coach Beiste tells the single ladies (hey Lauren Zizes, miss ya girrrrrl!) to get out there and get what's theirs. So, they do. Lauren to Joe, Sugar to Artie. I celebrated by throwing both fists into the air, in a very Zizes-manner.
Meanwhile, in NYC, Kurt tries to get involved at NYADA. So, he signs up for Adam's Apples, even though Rachel tells him it's basically social suicide. Rachel, since when do you care what people think?!
He meets a new British upperclassman. Aye Karumba! His name... it's Adam.
Adam tries to convince Kurt to join. He and the Apples sing a (apparently "ripped-off"... even though it's not illegal. #sigh #enoughdrama) version of Johnathan Coulton's Baby Got Back, which in my opinion was awesome.
Rachel is trying to leave McKinley in the past, tells Kurt "this isn't like high school" and advises him to ask Adam out, because "things move fast in the city". Hey, New Rachel -- you're trying to grow up too fast. ENJOY NEW YORK & COLLEGE YA CRAZY!
Kurt ends up asking Adam out and they exchange numbers. (Insert a w00t w00t here).
Back at McKinley, Tina and Blaine are dancing and my
Sam interrupts because he's got a break in the "Dalton Cheated" scandal.
The girls then sing a version of Locked Out of Heaven, which was sexual. Puck and Kitty must have felt the sexualness, because the two go out to her car to have at each other. Is it weird that I totally ship Pitty? (I know, I'm a ship whore. Leave me alone.)
Meanwhile, Sam and Blaine go get Finn because they find out that Dalton has been using steroids... and according to the rule book, all performance enhancing drugs (including Four Loko, Count Boozey von Drunk-a-Ton) are illegal in the show choir world. So they get Trenton Warbler to admit to the 'roid scandal. Queue BLAM celebration, because New Directions will get the spot! (Weren't they disqualified? Wouldn't the spot go to the other showchoir that sang She’ll Be Coming Around the Mountain get the spot? Whatever...)
And over in NYC, Rachel is cleaning up dinner that she was supposed to have with Brody, but he's 45 minutes late, which makes for a very angry Rachel Berry. Even though it's not his fault because the train was late, she doesn't give him any leeway. Whatever... I think she's getting crazier.
Alas, Brody disagrees with me, and thinks that Rachel is right. So he asks her to dance. Weirdly enough, they're dancing to Ryder's version of I Only Have Eyes For YOu which he's singing at the dance, while Little Puckerman and Marley love each other,
SO, Brody vows to never be late again. He's going to get an apartment in the city! YAY!
WAIT THOUGH! Rachel says "screw that!" (not really), "Why don't you just move in here?" (really), and... the episode ends. DUN DUN DUN!
...And that's what you missed on Glee!
Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney
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