I don't know why you'd miss this episode, seeing as though it came after like the world's longest hiatus and really even if you didn't expect it to be good, you probably should have watched it anyway because it's been so long, but with all the spoilers, we really already knew it was going to be good so really there's just no excuse… but just in case, here's what you missed:
Tina started the show out with the first line. GASP.
Everyone wants to know what happened with Sam & Mercedes over the summer. Sounds a lot like what happened with Danny and Sandy from Grease… oh right. They sang Summer Lovin'
Becky's inner voice is Helen Mirren's. Automatic awesome points. And also she has the hots for Artie, so Sue tells her to ask him out on a date, even though she thinks Becky can do better.
Beiste eloped & married Cooter. WHAT?! Subtle, writers. Subtle.
Emma proposes to Will after singing Wedding Bell Blues. Twas awesome.
Schue decides he's going to propose to Emma. He wants the Glee Club's help to think of a song.
Artie kinda asks Sugar out.. kinda.. but then Becky SWOOPS and asks him out
Sam decides to join the synchronized swimming team to get a letterman's jacket, to get Mercedes back. His nickname is TroutyMouth. He has crooked nipples. Coach Roz will kill him if he pees in the pool. And Nene Leakes… is AWESOME.
Artie has moves like Jagger… at least that's what his Moves LIke Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash performance showed.
Schue asks Finn to be his best man. Normal?
Finn wants to join the Army because his Dad was a war hero.
The Glee girls ask what it was like when Mr. Schue saw Emma for the first time… queue an emotional performance of "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" + some cute flashbacks with Finchel, Tike, Brittana, and Samcedes… yeah… SAMcedes.
Will asks Emma's parents if he has their permission to ask Emma to marry him… and those ginger supremacists said no because Emma can't handle messy… Emma's parents: Y U SUCK SO BAD?!
Artie took Becky to Breadstix. They actually had a really cute date. Then Glee Club tried to give Artie a Beckyvention… and he told them that Becky was really optimistic about life, which he really admired considering all that she'd been through [insert Artie hand wave here.] Preach Artie, preach!
Schue tells Burt & Carol about Finn's thoughts about joining the army. Turns out Finn's dad had a drug problem when he got back from war. He didn't die a war hero. He OD'ed. Really heavy. Really sad.
Becky took a nude photo of herself. Sent it to Artie. And told him they were going to do it. Artie didn't like it. He realized he didn't want to date her. Sue told him to tell her like… a real person… And also to stop wearing gloves for his wheel chair & stop buttoning his shirt so high.
Emma asked Will if he wanted to marry her… he said he didn't know, because… you guessed it: marriage is messy. What? GTFO Will. She left John Stamos for you…
Kurt and Finn and Rachel throw a pity party. Then Rachel sings an absolutely b.e.a.utiful rendition of "Without You", which turns into her Glee Club assignment. All the couples shared a moment. Especially Finn & Rachel. Because really. It was amazing. Artie even through in a preach wave… seriously, he did.
Sam thinks of an awesome proposal for Ms. Pillsbury. And it turns out to be really cute. Especially because a bunch of people are lined in the hall giving Emma white roses as she passes them.
Queue "We Found Love", retro swim suits, Artie on a raft in the middle of the pool, Schue in a white tux, walking on water, diving in water, a waste of a white tux, and a heartfelt proposal.
She said yes!!! [insert cries]
Artie tells Becky he can't date her. Then Helen Mirren, I mean Becky has a really sad inner conversation with herself, knowing that it was because she had Downs Syndrome. I legitimately cried. But Sue, being the lover that she really is, takes care of her. They eat ice cream & watch Lifetime Television for Ovaries together. Dare you to watch and not cry.
Then… the real shocker comes…Finn brings Rachel to the auditorium. And he…. asks her…. to marry him. Proposals out the wazooo! She said…
And that's what you missed… on Glee!
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