Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Gleecap: Glee 3x11 - 'Michael' Recap

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So, you didn’t watch the episode dedicated to the legendary Michael Jackson? Offensive. Nevertheless, we’ll give you the ditty on the dirty with this week’s Gleecap (pelvic thrusting and white gloves included at no extra cost). Here’s what you missed, Gleeks:

The ep kicks off with a Michael number straight away as Blaine struts his stuff to the tune of “Wanna Be Startin Somethin.” Queue pelvic thrusting and steely looks at the camera.

Finn needs an answer from Rachel concerning his proposal, but she’s still mum. Thus the agony for Finchel shippers is prolonged.

A "Jackson-off nick at night" to the tune of “Bad” ensues in a parking garage (random but I like it), which ultimately leads to Blaine wearing an eye patch after getting rudeboxed via slushee.

Next up is the smoking hot rendition of “Scream,” featuring Artie and Mike. Not since “Safety Dance” have we seen Artie out of his chair and in dreamland showcasing his slick moves. On a hot scale of 1-10, we are off the charts here, people. There’s eyeliner, need I say more? Didn’t think so.

Quinn and Rachel have a heart-to-heart chat in which Quinn reveals her acceptance to Yale and tells Rachel to break up with Finn. Quinn takes the stage singing “Never Can Say Goodbye,” making me extremely sad in the process. Just when Quinn jumps off the crazy train, it’s time to say goodbye.

Samcedes. Is. On. Well, not officially, but we’ve got our hopes up as they serenade one another in “Human Nature” and end it with a kiss. Sorry boutchya, Shane.

Kurt is a finalist at NYADA and Burt Hummel once again proves to be the best dad ever. Rachel has yet to receive her letter and breaks down in the hallway. Please stop crying because I can’t take it.

Finchel and Kurt sing “Ben” to Blaine the pirate.

“Auntie Snix just arrived on the bitch town express,” leading to a Santana/Sebastian dual in “Smooth Criminal,” accompanied by the cello guys. Fedora, anyone? Santana FTW. Sebastian admits to putting rock salt in the slushy he used on Blaine, and then proceeds to slushy Santana.

Finn once again proclaims his love to Rachel and at the end of their “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” duet, Rachel finally says YES to the proposal. Finchel actually engaged? I’m in.

Luckily, and unbeknownst to Sebastian, Santana had a tape recorder taped to her underboob while he admitted to the rock salt. Busted. Kurt, however, would rather take the high road and not turn him in. The Glee club then proceeds to show the Warblers just what Michael was all about and own the stage in “Black or White.” Queue creepy fade from character to character.

Rachel finally receives her NYADA letter revealing her as a finalist, but she hasn’t told Finn yet.

And that’s what you missed… on Glee!

*A special thanks to our friend Ashley, @ashhens, for writing up this Gleecap while Bonnie and Whitney recover from Smooth Criminal!

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