Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Gleecap: Glee 3x14 - 'On My Way' Recap

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So you missed the winter finale? Well lucky you because I speak for the entire Glee fandom when I say that my heart got ripped out, thrown into the street and run over by a Mac truck. Seriously. On the bright side, we all have seven weeks to emotionally recover during the hiatus. Now, if you’re ready, here’s the low down on this week’s emotional rollercoaster that hits ya hard right to the last second (there’s a pun there, you’ll see). Get your tissues, people, because this episode took on the serious issues.

In the coffee shop, sans gay cyclops, Sebastian gives blackmailing a try with photo shopped pics of Finn in the buff.

Rachel refuses to negotiate with terrorists and Finn storms off.

A Sue and Q scene takes us back to the good old days of season 1. Sue’s eggo is prego but she’s mum on who the father is. Quinn gives "barely helpful advice" on morning sickness and her request to get back on the Cheerios is turned down. Sorry Q.

Less than 10 minutes in and queue the heartbreak. We enter the auditorium where Blaine sings Cough Syrup while we see Karofsky getting outted at school. With nothing but hatred facing him in the locker room and on his facebook wall, Karofsky puts on a (non-zoot) suit and decides to take his own life. Thankfully, he does not succeed.

In Figgins' office the teachers discuss how they could have done more to help Karofsky. Cut to scene of David’s dad finding him in his room.

In a God Squad meeting, Quinn says Karofsky was acting selfishly. Enter Kurt, who says otherwise and makes us all cry.

Finchel makes up (what’s new?) and they decide to head to the altar ASAP. But not today, Finn has gym.

Back at the coffee shop, Brittana and Klaine confront Sebastian about his cruelty ("one bitch to another") and the group comes to a truce in light of recent events.

At a Glee Club meeting, Mr. Schue talks to the kids about teen suicide. Rory has peanut butter for the first time, Santana wants love from her abuela, Brittany wants Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstasy addiction, Tina just wants a song (preach), and Rachel wants everyone to be besties for life.

Regionals time! Is that a vampire-judge? Oh hey, Ian Brennan.

The Warblers take the stage first, featuring Sebastian looking hot to trot in Stand and I'm Glad You Came while the New Directions cheer them on. The next group up is the Golden Goblets from Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow. What the what? Figgins sways in his seat (as swaying in background is fun) but Brittany couldn’t even hear the instruments.

Finchel announces that their wedding ceremony will be after the performance and invites everyone, even Quinn.

New Directions, take the stage! The first number is Fly/I Believe I Can Fly in which Santana gets her rap on and I lose all sense of time and reality. Queue Mr. Schue’s awkward side-stage grooving.

Next up: Stronger by the fierce femme fenomenals that are The Troubletones. Perfection. Just sayin.

Now the final song: Here’s To Us, which is nothing less than a perfect display of Rachel Berry’s talent. Her dads are faultless supporters in the crowd and she serenades Finn in slow-mo.

Enter stage left, Mr. Vampire. And the winner is...THE NEW DIRECTIONS.

Quinn meets with Sue, even though she’s exhausted from singing all those "ooo's" and "background aaahhh’s." Q reminds Sue of a younger, less striking version of herself but nonetheless gets her Cheerios uniform back and struts it down the hallway where she talks to Rachel. In this somewhat awkward exchange, Quinn expresses her support of a Finchel wedding and they hug it out, sending Faberry shippers everywhere into an emotional tailspin (from which I’m sure they have yet to recover).

Karofsky is visited at the hospital by Kurt and there’s not a dry eye in the place. Kurt gives an inspiring pep talk and Karofsky imagines his bright future.

Sue reveals her pregnancy to Will and offers her assistance as she wants to help them win nationals. "Isn’t that weird?" Damn hormones.

Burt, Carol, Hiram, and Leroy are not truly on board for this wedding so they plot to disrupt the ceremony. Who’s Barbara? Streisand.

Finn gets a peek at the bride in her dress. Bad luck? In about 2 minutes you’ll sure think so.

Cut to Quinn, who is still on her way as she had to run home to get her bridesmaid dress. [Side note: this song in the background is making me extra nervous, please shut it off.] Rachel keeps texting her, wondering where she’s at. Quinn is stuck behind the tractor of all tractors. Yes, Tina, it IS bad luck for Finn to see the bride right now.

Hiram plans to fake an epileptic seizure. Rachel wants to keep waiting until her bridesmaid arrives. Quinn finally checks her phone as she’s driving and texts back “ON MY WAY,” giving us insight as to where the ep’s title came from. Just as blondie sends it, a silver truck comes out of nowhere and hits Quinn’s car. End scene. WTF.

That scene shattered my heart just like the front end of that truck shattered Quinn’s driver’s-side window. Too soon? Sorry, no more jokes. Now that my eyes are bloodshot and my tissues are all gone, you’re all caught up!

And that’s what you missed on... Glee!

*If you or someone you know needs a listening ear, contact the folks at The Trevor Project, an organization built to help LGBTQ teens, at 866-488-7386. Remember, you are not alone and it really does get better. Promise.

Happy trolling for seven weeks straight, Gleeks!

-Bonnie & Whitney

*Thanks again to Ashley for writing this brilliant gleecap for us. Go follow her on twitter: @ashhens. Do it. Do it now.

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