Thursday, February 16, 2012

Gleecap: Glee 3x13 - "Heart" Recap

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Okay, if you missed Tuesday night's episode of Glee, you definitely deserve to be kicked square in the taco or have your nuts, right of left, cracked. While we shouldn't even entertain the idea of catching you up due to the "other plans" you had while we watched one of the most anticipated episodes of the season, here's the low-down:

Brittana holding, Playlist locker, Brittana almost kiss, Brittana kiss, Brittana arm link, Brittana at table, Brittana song dedication, Brittana hand kiss, Brittana hand hold, Brittana dancing and full on Brittana lip lock.

And that's what you missed…on Glee!

Haha okay kidding, here you go for real:

It's Valentine's Week and Will wants the kids to use it to sing the World's Greatest Love Songs. Will tells the kids that they still need to raise $250 to afford costumes and hairspray for Regionals, which is the following week. Definitely out of character for him to wait until the last minute to do something really important. He tells the kids that they are going to do singing telegrams and go from room to room singing them to the person that they were bought for. After such disasters as multiple sex riot assemblies and students throwing food and shoes at them during Christmas caroling, the Glee club is definitely against this idea.

The saint that is Sugar Motta, comes forward and just gives Will the money because she is rich and he takes it with very little hesitation. Then Sugar announces that she will be throwing a Valentine's party at Breadstix (best restaurant ever) and she will be naming it the Sugar Shack but you can only come if you have a date - single people aren't allowed because they're sad and boring and they don't exist in her world.

Finn and Rachel get called to the auditorium by none other than Rachel's dads - Leroy and Hiram! They called them there because they found out from the tire king and the denim queen that they were getting hitched. Her fabulous dads welcome this marriage with open arms..or do they?

An introduction of a new club at McKinley - The God Squad - happens and it consists of Mercedes, Quinn, Sam and Teen Jesus - Joe Hart (Glee Project winner Samuel Larson). Sam suggests that the God Squad pick of the task of doing singing telegrams and use the money to complete things on their clubs list and is done!

Kurt keeps getting stuff from a secret admirer that he just believes to be Blaine. I mean, he cannot get over it being Blaine. Meanwhile, Rory and Artie find out that they both want to ask Sugar to her own party…boom, love triangle.

Mike and Tina get to sing a duet (L-O-V-E) which was amazing and cute as ever and was set to them dancing and during the scenes when Artie and Rory are trying to woo Sugar.

Brittany makes Santana an amazing V-day playlist and they get busted by Figgins for kissing in the hallway. Figgins calls them into his office and tells the teen lesbians that there have been complaints of their PDA and that while he would much rather see them kiss than the so called "Finchel", he has to listen to the complaints. Santana then tells Figgins that there is a huge double standard at the school and that she should be allowed to kiss her girlfriend if everyone else can make out with each other. Four for you, Santana! You go Santana, you go!

Finn and Rachel announce to everyone that they are getting married and everyone is like WTF. They get mixed feelings from their fellow glee club members but thank goodness Artie wheels to the center of attention to perform a sexy little number that is "Let Me Love You" to tries and win over Sugar. Talk..about..swag. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

In the ever so musical courtyard, the God Squad shows up with their first singing telegram for Rachel from Finn. After the number is finished, HBIC Santana Lopez questions the Christian singing group about who they will sing to. After she finds out they will sing to anyone, she pays the Christian group ten bucks to sing one to her girlfriend girlfriend, Brittany S. Pierce.

Rory tells the glee club that he will have to go back to Ireland at the end of the school year because he can't get his visa renewed and sings "Home" which breaks everyone's heart, including Sugar's, resulting in her asking Rory to her no singles allowed dance.

The God Squad discusses whether or not they feel comfortable singing a telegram to a gay couple..and by they, I mean Joe. After going around the table and hearing everyone talk about what they think it means to be a Christian, causes Joe to think and pray about singing to gay people and also makes Mercedes question her actions with Trouty Mouth himself!

Mercedes tells Sam that she told Shane about them. Sam is like that sucks but holla and Mercedes tells him that she can't be with him because when she is, she feels bad about what she did to Shane so they can't be together. Then she broke our hearts with her amazing rendition of "I WIll Always Love You" which was so emotional for Samcedes and Whitney Houston lovers alike.

The most awkward dinner ever takes place between the Berry's and the Hudson-Hummel family, sans Kurt. Both families act like they are cool with this marriage and are even telling them to go through with a night of teenage lovemaking since they are going to be married and adults soon! It only makes sense right? Then Finn and Rachel get to her bedroom and he really needs to use the restroom, like..REALLY needs to use it and Rachel tells him that he just cannot do that here. They have a married person fight about how she is going to be awesome and going to college and he's just going to be there with her bringing her Diet Coke's and cheering her on.

Kurt show's up to Breadstix (best restaurant ever) for Sugar's party but he's early because he has yet another note from his secret admirer. He is then greeted by someone in a gorilla suit who is none other than…DAVE KAROFSKY! He tells Kurt that he really helped him and is in love with him but Kurt is like sorry boutcha Dave, I'm with the bow tie guy.

Finchel can't ever stay mad at each other so of course they kiss and make up and decide they should go to Breadstix (best restaurant ever). Her dads discuss amongst each other how this marriage does NOT seems like a good idea but Leroy tells Hiram that by them supporting it, she won't go through with it. The ol' reverse psychology trick. For about..less than a second they think it works until Rachel and Finn announce that they are getting married after National's in May.

Sugar's party gets started with the God Squad singing "Cherish/Cherish" as a telegram from Santana to Brittany. This was definitely the Brittana moment that everyone has always been waiting for. They sing the song while Brittany and Santana exchange loving glances, hand holds and even a kiss on the hand. Oh and then at the end of that performance, there was a kiss. And by kiss I mean probably the best kiss ever to be seen on Glee ever (followed closely by Brittany and Sam during Spin the Bottle). Brittana is love.

And what would an episode be if Blaine weren't in it? Well, don't worry, he shows up at the end of the night to sing "Love Shack". Roll credits.

And that's what you missed... on Glee!

So..what…an…episode! I mean, it was so intense we hope that we covered everything! And we just have a few things to say…first, we would like to say that we LOVED how this episode handled the whole thing with double standards. Those writers are trolls and we love it. Second, Amber Riley made us all so proud with that rendition of "I WIll Always Love You". Definitely a performance that will never ever be forgotten. Third, Dave Karofsky..wuuuuuuut!!!? Fourth, Brittana made some huge progress in this episode and we're so proud of them and all the fans that have stuck with them this far! Fifth, when Sugar says "JE-SUS! HOL-LA!" And sixth, the best part of "Love Shack" was obviously Kurt singing, "Tiiiiiiiiin Rooooof! Rusted.."

Peace. Love. And Glee.
Bonnie and Whitney

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