Gleecap: Glee 4x18 - 'Shooting Star' Recap

This week's Gleecap is going to be a little bit different than what we usually do. Usually our gleecaps are filled with snarky, fun-filled sarcasm, and a brief synopsis of what happened.

However, this week's episode addressed a serious topic. While we may add opinions, these are just our opinions. Nothing is meant to be political here - we're not that kind of blog.

We will go into detail on what happened. And then we will give our opinions on the topic. And we will invite discussion. It's something that should be talked about. It's something that should be addressed. And it's something that people should be aware of.

So first, let's get into the Gleecap:

First, the episode opens with Will naming the compeition for Regionals. I've watched the episode twice, and the only name that's stuck so far is the "Hoosier Daddies" from Indiana. Whoever came up with that one is ruuuuuullll clever.

Then, it goes into a spiel about how Ryder saw his girl - the one he's been chatting with via internet & text. He went to go see her, but Beiste stopped him. So he didn't get the chance. Instead, he went and found her, and then sang her Your Song by Elton John. Excellently sung song, Blake Jenner. Excellent.

Turns out though that the Katie he sang to was really Marissa and he just got Manti Te'o-ed.

He originally thinks it's Marley or Jake. They deny it, but he wants nothing to do with them.

Let's segway to Beiste. She cooked Will a nice spaghetti dinner and told him that she loved him. He obviously doesn't return the feelings, but most importantly, Beiste makes us cry.

Brittany thinks a meteor/astroid/comet is going to hit Earth and kill everyone. So she decides that she wants to make everything right with Lord Tubbington (because apparently they've been fighting), and Sam tells her that she should sing him a song. The New Directions sing him More Than Words (side note: Whit and I have been wanting this song for years... maybe not in this setting. BUT on this show for forever.)

Turns out the meteor/astroid/comet is really just a dead lady bug at the end of Brittany's Pringle's can, but hey, she can't blame her telescope. She finds out they're all saved, but dispands the Astrology club anyway.

As everyone's leaving, Becky asks Britany to stay in high school for forever. Becky is scared of the real world, but Brittany pinky promises him that if she prepares, the real world won't be so scary. It was probably the second sweetest moment of the whole episode.

The Glee Club's assignment is to sing songs as if it's their last chance. As Will is explaining the lesson to Beiste in the choir room, they hear gunshots. So, Beiste and Schue get the kids down low, turn off the lights and do their best to keep everyone quiet and calm. I'll briefly go through the need-to-knows during the shooting, because really you should watch this episode:

- Brittany and Tina aren't in the choir room, but most everyone else is.
- Brittany (or who you assume is Britt) tries to get into the choir room, but the doors are locked - she tries both doors, then slams another door, and you find out later she's hiding on top of the toilet, crying in the bathroom.
- You find out later, Tina was late, and she's outside with half the rest of the student body.
- Marley is concerned about her mom. She keeps texting her, but her mom won't respond.
- Kitty confesses to Marley that she took in her clothes during Grease.
- Sam really wants to go find Brittany, and almost puts the rest of the Glee club in danger by screaming about it and going to find her.
- Artie thinks it's a good idea for everyone in the room to record messages on his cell phone in case they don't make it out of there.
- Schue eventually finds Brittany and brings her into the choir room.
- Ryder calls the girl that Catfished him and a phone within the choir room rang.

The school cracks down on security. Sue thinks it's an overreaction. She also confesses to the gunshots being fired from her gun.

Ryder plans to meet the girl that Catfished him outside the choir room. She never showed, and we never find out who it is.

At the last part of the episode, we find out that Sue is really covering for Becky. Becky was scared about graduating and brought the gun to school. Sue was handling the situation, but the gun accidentally went off, Becky dropped the gun, and a second shot was fired.

Sue packs up her stuff and leaves McKinley High... whether she will come back or not is still up in the air, but the way they left it, it doesn't look good.

Meanwhile Glee club sings Say. It was seriously so emotional.

Now, let's talk about our thoughts.

First and foremost, I want everyone to know that I don't believe that gun control and mental health initiatives are mutually exclusive. I think they're both important.

But before we dive in, let's talk about how Glee addressed this episode. Personally, I think it was very well done. It made you feel - and that's what is important. I can tell you that each and everytime I hear about a school shooting in our nation I feel sick. I feel sad. I feel flabbergasted. I feel heartbroken. The amount of emotions I feel literally makes my stomach hurt.

Well tonight Glee made me feel that way. But I was okay with it, because I think it was supposed to portray that feeling. But I want to make note that I don't believe that it's a mockery or that it's "too soon" or anything like that -- School shootings have been a serious issue in our country since Columbine in 1999. All Glee did tonight, in MY optinion, is bring awareness to the issue.

Now let's talk about the real culprit here. Turns out that it was Becky who was repsonsible for the shooting. Now, we know that she did not intend on shooting, and she was seeking help from Sue. But the shots were fired, and she brought a gun to school nonetheless.

First of all, let's not confuse mental health with a genetic condition. Down's Syndrome is a genetic condition that affects the chromosomes of a person - NOT their mental stability. BUT, that brings me to my first point that I'd like to address: Mental health is such an important issue in our country and we need to be aware of it.

However, in the case of these school shootings that have happened over the last 15 years, most of them are mentally ill. If you haven't heard about the blog article I Am Adam Lanza's Mother, then read the article and come back to this.

Let me preface this statement with "we're all human". We're all fallible... Whether healthy, mentally ill, or born with Down's, we can all feel trapped, lash out, or make mistakes. However, generally those who can think clearly can know the difference between what's right and what's wrong.

However, those with mental illnesses that feel this is their only way out, or that feel that they need to bring a gun to school to make a statement, or that truly feel that the only way they'll be free is to kill those "holding them back"... they especially need help. What really makes me think about the woman in the article I linked to above is that the only way anyone could help her is if this kid was "in the system". That's not going to help anyone. That child needs help - while he's still innocent.

I'm going to stop there, becasue the thoughts that come after are political. And personally I'd like to keep that as separate as possible. But regardless, it's a serious issue within our country.

Next, it's gun control. While I'm not going to express my personally beliefs on gun control, I will say that not everyone should have a gun. And whether we make laws, or restrictions, or make tests for who can have them -- whatever the case may be... not everyone should have a gun.

With that said, I know that those who want them will get them if they set their minds to it.

That's why tonight's Glee episode was so important. Becky's not a terrorist. She's not a bad person. She's scared, as Sue said -- just like everyone else. The way she handled it might have been different than how someone else may have handled it, and Sue was trying to address it in the best way possible. But it shouldn't be up to Sue.

It's scary for teachers to wake up and go to school every day. It's scary for kids to go to school every day. We need to figure out a way to make it harder for those that are unqualified to get guns, and easier for those who have mental illnesses to find the help they need - however big or small the issue may be.

That being said, I believe this episode was about awareness. Glee addressed the school shooting tastefully in my opinion. They were showing that it's scary, it could happen anywhere, and it could happen for any reason -- but we have to figure out how to weed out the possibilities with every student without having metal detectors at the front entry way of every school.

It may be an impossible feat. But it's something we have to at least aspire to do. Someone's got to make a difference. Someone's got to step in and try to stop these unnecessary tragedies.

Moreover, I believe that Glee wanted to show that school is supposed to be a safe place. And lately it's not. Even at McKinley High -- the safest school we all know -- it doesn't even feel safe. How do we make our schools safe again? How do we make school a place where parents feel safe sending their kids and school? how do we make kids feel safe in the classroom, in the hallways, in the common grounds of their school?

Maybe these questions won't get answered. But it's sure something that should be addressed, and in my opinion, it's something that we should all be aware of.

In closing, I'll say this: These issues are serious. They are hurtful. They are sensitive. And moreover, we need to know that we can find help, somehow some way... And right now I believe the lack of help is the issue. Becky was asking Sue for help. If you need help, there's someone that you can ask help from, too, and we're here to post those numbers. So, here's all the research we've done:

Adolescent Suicide Hotline	800-621-4000
Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling Nineline	1-800-999-9999
AIDS National Hotline	1-800-342-2437
CHADD-Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder	1-800-233-4050
Child Abuse Hotline	800-4-A-CHILD
Domestic Violence Hotline	800-799-7233
Drug & Alcohol Treatment Hotline	800-662-HELP
Eating Disorders Center	1-888-236-1188
Family Violence Prevention Center	1-800-313-1310
Gay & Lesbian National Hotline	1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Gay & Lesbian Trevor HelpLine Suicide Prevention	1-800-850-8078
Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse)	1-800-477-4111
Incest Awareness Foundation	1-888 -547-3222
Learning Disabilities - (National Center For)	1-888-575-7373
Missing & Exploited Children Hotline	1-800-843-5678
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)	1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
Panic Disorder Information Hotline	800- 64-PANIC
Rape (People Against Rape)	1-800-877-7252
Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN)	1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
Sexual Assault Hotline	1-800-656-4673
Sexual Abuse - Stop It Now!	1-888-PREVENT
Suicide Prevention Lifeline	1-800-273-TALK
Suicide & Crisis Hotline	1-800-999-9999
Suicide Prevention - The Trevor HelpLine (Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention).	1-800-850-8078
Teen Helpline	1-800-400-0900
Victim Center	1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)
Youth Crisis Hotline	800-HIT-HOME

As always...

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie & Whitney

Gleecap: Glee 4x15 - 'Girls (and Boys) on Film' Recap

I know we haven't been keeping up with the gleecaps lately, and that's because in all honesty you should never miss an episode of Glee, and because of that, we just stopped doing gleecaps for a whole two weeks, just to see how you'd react, but really we just ended up letting you down, and so now you're missing episodes and you can't get caught up, because we're being irresponsible, and really it just ends up being a monumental fail on all parts. So, in case you missed last week's 4x15 "Girls (and Boys) on Film", here's what you have to catch up on with Glee:

The show opens with a black and white dream sequence where Will & Emma are singing You're All The World To Me. It was a cool number, but these dream sequences are hard to keep up with.


Schue wakes up and decides to turn this emotional roller coaster into his inspiration for the Glee Club's weekly lesson: Songs in Film, which... in true Schuester fashion has to be done as a boys vs. girls mash off competition. So. Do with that what you will... (When did Schue come back to be the New Directions coach? I know he came back for the wedding, but did I miss the part where he came back for good? The part where he told Finn to sit down, he's back? This is what I get for not keeping up with the Gleecaps...)

By the way, Artie's doing a micro-budget film (maybe, this is going to lead somewhere else... I see a future storyline unraveling...). The winner of the mash-off gets to star in it...

Finn, consumed with guilt, decides it's in his best interest to track Emma down for Will. He starts with Sue, who is NOT fond of helping this "flop-sweat smelling, fake-teen teaching, army-deserting, high-school-lurking, Sectionals-losing, special-needs-baby hating..." (kid?) so... He asks Artie for help. Who logically suggests starting with her parents... ding! ding! ding! What do we have for him Johnny?! He and Artie (later in the episode) disguise themselves as serious gingers & find out her whereabouts.

In the meantime, in an attempt to make the 500th number all-inclusive and fun, Britt and Blaine catch up with the New Directions and decide they want to kick off movie week with Shout from Animal House. It was a fun scene. And Happy 500th Glee!


Let's not forget to switch to NYC every now and then, because this episode really marked the highlight of Santana's career at New York... which leads me to this: Santana, Kurt (and Adam.. from the Apples), and Rachel are snowed in. So they decide to start a movie marathon, and after a brief confrontation where Rachel asks Santana to leave because she's making her (and Brody) feel uncomfortable in her (and Kurt's) sanctuary... Santana narrows the movie selection down to Knocked Up, Rosemary's Baby, and She's Having a Baby... I sense a theme here... If you missed "I Do", well... Anyways, Rachel doesn't want to watch those, so Moulin Rouge it is!

Let's switch to another dream sequence scene... Blaine and Kurt singing Come What May on top of their roof in Bushwick. Then it comes back to reality, where is snuggled with Adam and Rachel, crying at his imaginary dream. When prompted, he said he was having contact issues. Santana in true-Lopez fashion responds with "Really? I thought you were crying because you always said that you and Blaine would sing that to each other at your wedding."


Then... in even more phenomenal Lopez-Fashion, Santana starts rattling on about Brody, noting to the others that "That Brody character is a freakin' psycho.... When I first met him, totally thought he was weird. He smelt all talcumy, like a Cabbage Patch Doll. And then he said I wasn't a real New Yorker until I had my first makeover, and I was like 'what does that even mean?! Like who are you?!" and this continued for an entertaining five minutes or so. What we learn... Santana thinks Brody is a drug dealer because she found $1200 cash and a pager in his pockets as she rattled through all of their pockets and drawers in the house.

Side note: this is one of my favorite Santana lines of all time, and let's be real... this episode was packed FULL of them: "Okay, I like how you guys pretend to be all accepting about everything, but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home, moves in, and goes through all your stuff, you're offended?! [MVP award, for sure].

And as if these last two NYC points weren't good enough, Santana continues to question Brody's whereabouts, so Rachel calls him. All the while Rachel's on the phone, Santana's pretending to grind up some coke with a credit card, snort it up, and act all crazy. I gotsta admit, Santana has found her calling: antagonize Rachel Berry in her home. It makes for great fun! Anyways, Brody is abrupt and Kurt agrees with Santana.... Drug dealer.

Back in Ohio, the boys perform their mashup of Tom Cruise movies: Danger Zone/Old Time Rock 'n Roll. It was good. Though it didn't serve much of a purpose.


In between the boys mashup and the girls mashup, Kitty and Marley have a little exchange where Kitty admits to being mean behind Marley's back and in front of her face, but since they both like hanging out with Jews together, they should be friends. So Marley decides it's a good idea to tell Kitty that Ryder kissed her even though she's dating little Puck. Uh oh.

Cut to the girls mashup of Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl, which was a little awkward and weird, and happened to be the same exact mashup from Moulin Rouge. Original? No. But that's alright I guess.


Back at NYADA, Kurt and Adam have a heart to heart in which Adam basically asks Kurt if he's over Blaine... to which Kurt replies that he desperately wants to be... Adam was pleased, but it didn't sound like a "yes" to me...

Finn tells Will where Emma is. So the New Directions and Will decide to go to Emma's sister's house where she's staying to recreate the scene from Say Anything, performing In Your Eyes with a boom box over his head. In my opinion this was okay, but the Will and Emma exchange was uncomfortable. Ultimately Emma says she ran because she didn't know Will anymore, and they decide to start from scratch and go see a movie next week. Ughhh. It's like the relationship that will never progress... Ever.


Back in New York, Santana waltzes back into the apartment claiming she's found her people... to which I agree 100%... but Rachel doesn't seem enthused. Santana questions her about "the stick" (again... just go catch up on these episodes will ya? We're talking about a pregnancy test that Santana found while rooting through the bathroom trash can), and Rachel just responds by crying. Santana holds her, like the true friend she is... and says "It's okay. You're going to be okay. It's going to be okay." Basically it just melts your little heart and makes you instantly forgive Santana for all the Berry-Brody-Bashing she's been doing.

Jake owns up to his lack of Valentine's Day ideas. So he takes her into the pottery room at McKinley, and he sings Unchained Melody to her, while they pot... together. Although Marley starts dreaming up Ryder (seriously, what is it with these imagination scenes here? I feel like I should be on coke... or pot... [lulz, puns] to figure it out!)


When the song concludes, Marley admits to knowing it was Ryder. She also admits to Ryder kissing her... and her letting Ryder kiss her... Jake leaves... Quietly.

Then back in the choir room, Will announces in true Ryan Murphy-Fashion (cc: The Glee Project, S1) that EVERYON is the winner of the mash-off competition. Good luck writing a micro-budget film for that one, Artie.

The New Directions is unamused... because really, why bother having competitions when they all win, or according to Sugar, lose, anyways? Whatever.

Meanwhile, Finn calls Will into the hall to tell him that he kissed Emma... (to which you reply 'WHAT?!?!' Because we missed episode 4x14's Gleecap. Seriously, would you just watch the damn show?!) And then Will leaves.... Quietly. Jeez people. Say something, would ya?

And... because it's relevant and all of our questions were answered [lulz, sarcasm], we jump right into Footloose... which, is fun anyways...


...And that's what you missed on Glee!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney

Gleecap: Glee 4x12 - 'Naked' Recap

Maybe you're not watching Glee anymore... That's silly. Real silly. Silly as slothstronaut. And if you're not watching, you're missing out... because the last few episodes have been quite good. And I haven't been looking forward to upcoming episodes this much in a long time. So maybe you want to start watching again. And maybe you need to catch up on what you missed. So here's your recap for Glee 4x12 "Naked":

Dalton was stripped of their sectionals title because of their recent roid scandal, so the New Directions are going to Regionals! WOO! (Still confused why it wouldn't go to the She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain show choir, buuuuut...)

Tina still loves Blaine. And we still love Blina Anderchang. So, she comes up with "The Men of McKinley Calendars" to sell as a fundraising event to come up with the money for Regionals.

Fondue for Two is back. Brittany has Marley come on the show as her guest. She lets her entire viewing audience know that she's got a fat mom and she's bulimic. And Lord Tubbington is secretly a slumlord. Brittany also tells Marley to tell Jake she loves him.

Brittany and Sam got the highest and lowest scores ever recorded at McKinley -- respectively. Sam questions how... because he doesn't understand why Britt could do better than him. (Don't you know she's a genius Sam? See Season 3x02.)

Britt, being the supportive sister girlfriend that she is, tells Sam not to worry because he has a great body and he can be a personal trainer or a greeter at Abercrombie or a greeter at Abercrombie's corporate headquarters.

Rachel is doing a film. But in order to do it, she's got to do a topless scene. Everyone seems against it except Brody... Including Old Rachel. That's why she came back to vocally masturbate sing a duet with New Rachel. They sing Torn. One of my favorite performances to date. Well done Rachels.


Now Sam is obsessed with his body. So he hosts a seminar where he teaches the men how to workout. Artie watches. Then they sing Hot In Herre/Centerfold. And can I just tell you how happy it makes me to hear more Nelly on Glee? #STLReppin #Season1Feels


Kurt is mad that Rachel is doing a topless scene. I don't really get it. But he seems to think it's because of misogynist Ken Brody. FYI -- Rachel's new nickname is Slutty Barbie.

Taking Brittany's advice into consideration, Marley invites Jake to the auditorium to sing a duet. They pick that "poop on paper" book-series-turned-to-movie "Twilight" theme song.... Or, simply A Thousand Years. It was good. But I personally hate that song.


Then Blaine reveals that the real reason he can't go to the dance with her is because he has a crush on Sam. Poor Tina.

Then Blina agrees that they go to the dance as BFF's and enjoy the "most fun night ever"! Poor Tina.

They kiss at the end of the number, but Marley still can't tell him that she loves him.

Meanwhile, Artie is struggling with the thought of doing the Men of McKinley calendar because his body is "sort of broken". Finn, in a rather dignified manner for a change tells him that it's okay... and in fact thinks "it’s totally cool that there’s a part of [himself] that [he wants] to keep private."

Ryder might be gay. No but in all seriousness, he for knows that girls want a guy that will get "naked emotionally". So he tells Jake, during their locker room bro talk (because that's probably what most guys talk about in the locker room... pardon the sterotyping and sarcasm here, but seriously?)... that Jake should tell Marley he loves her first.

So, Jake sings a stripped down version of Let Me Love You.... Which doesn't sound like "I Love You" to me... but it was close.


Rachel comes home to the best surprise of the season -- Santana and Quinn there because "Lady Hummel" called them for an emergency intervention. They're there to talk Rachel out of doing a nude scene.

Rachel questions the brittana sex tape, and Santana says it was the best thing she's ever done still haunts her to this day.

Quinn talks about the 2-2-2 rule... questioning Rachel on how she'll feel about it in 2 weeks? 2 months? 2 years? Thought provoking really...

Sam... still obsessing over his body because he has no brains... feels like he's losing his pump during the calendar shoot. So Blaine tells him he's out of control. But Blaine doesn't get it... because he's smart. And can sing. And can dance? #questionable

But Blaine reminds Sam that no matter what, everyone will still always love him. Thank goodness for the Glee Club loving everyone.

Somewhere in there, there's a Finn-Sue subplot, where Sue is making Finn's life miserable, so he blackmails her with the horse-testosterone nude centerfold she did a long time ago (continuity? I forgot what that was... but it was mentioned in season 1). I found this subplot to be irrelevant, but I think it was so that Finn could seem like the hero and save the Glee Club from Sue or something the Sue-hates-the-glee-club storyline continued. #...

Blaine, in an attempt to make Sam feel better, he brings Sam to Emma so that she can show him a list of colleges that don't require SAT scores -- just essays. Sam, still feeling un-smart, doesn't know what he'd write about.

Back in NY, Rachel is getting ready to shoot her topless scene, but Old Rachel kicks in and she decides she can't do it. Even thought he whole crew takes off their clothes with her... Weird. But if that's how Glee operates, maybe I should join that crew... How bout it, Ryan?

As she's leaving, the movie crew starts playing Love Song. It ends in the NYADA auditorium, where Rachel meets Quinn and Santana and they sing with her. It was a rather adorable scene, if I do say so myself, and I loved it.


FORESHADOWING ALERT: Rachel asks the girls if they want to have dinner, and Santana replies with “I’m in no rush to go back to Kentucky. I think I could get used to it here. It's more my speed." #getsantanatonewyork #now #now #NOW

Back at McKinley, Blam is trying to work through Sam's essay. Sam's not ready. But then Blaine shows a video of his contributions to members of the Glee Club to hopefully inspire some essay writing. Tina reminds him that he saved sectionals last year. And again this year. Artie reminds him that he rescued the Nationals trophy. Santana said that he inspired her to try her hand at song writing. Brittany said something about his Sean Connery impression. Mercedes followed her dreams to become a singer because of Sam. Finn reminds him that he supported his whole family when his dad lost his job. Oh... and Santana reminds us all that the song she wrote was Trouty Mouth... Obviously this was our favorite part of the whole episode.

Sam cried and thanked Blaine. THERE'S HIS ESSAY!

Sam tells Artie that he doesn't have to be shirtless in the calendar. SO, Sam keeps his clothes on, too. Aw. #BrosFoLyfe.

So, as they're selling the calendar, Sam declares that it's a new year and a new him... Queue It's a New Year. This performance gave me Season 1 feels. So good. SO GOOD!


...And that's what you missed on Glee!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney

Gleecap: Glee 4x11 - 'Sadie Hawkins' Recap

Since there was a hiatus, you probably forgot that Glee was even on anymore, which is silly because we basically couldn't imagine what we'd do with our lives if it wasn't... no but seriously, that's a legitimate concern... anyway, if you forgot to set a Google Alert or an outlook appointment to remind yourself that Glee returned from hiatus last week with 4x11 "Sadie Hawkins" then a) kill yourself and b) as if... and c) here's what you missed:

Sam thinks that the Warblers cheated at Sectionals. Blaine says he has to prove it. So he's determined to do so. Queue an impersonation of a superhero probably...

In the meantime, Sam's froggy lips are super chapped. So he borrows chapstick from Blaine. Blaine basically feels an instant connection through the chapstick that was just touching Sam's trouty-Aerosmith lips, so now he's in love with Sam. #BLAM!

Then we go to a Student Council meeting. Apparently Glee Club also makes up the Student Council board. Tina proposes a Sadie Hawkins dance. Sugar and Sam agree. Girl Power!

Since there's a Sadie Hawkins in action, the obvious lesson for the Glee Club is 'Ladies Choice', so the girls have to sing to the boys before they ask them to the dance.

Tina goes first, since she was the one who wanted the dance in the first place. And she sings I Don't Know How to Love Him to... Blaine. You heard. #BlinaAnderchang2013

Unfortunately Blaine tells her no. (Insert sad face emoji here).

Kitty has her eye on Jake, so Brittany tells Marley, "Girrrrrrl, this can't happen, find yo' power!" (well, not in those exact words). So after a magical turn, she and Marley sing Tell Him. It was excellent. Then Marley asks Jake to the dance and Brittany asks Sam.

Kitty, who's clearly not thrilled about the Sadie Hawkins situation, tells Jake to dump Marley... and basically throws herself at him, offering to satisfy his needs... Don't be a slore, Kitty.

Tina talks to Blaine. She apologizes for being insensitive - she knows he's had issues with Sadie Hawkins in the past. But she also requests one, because she was humiliated. Poor Tina.

Then Blaine reveals that the real reason he can't go to the dance with her is because he has a crush on Sam. Poor Tina.

Then Blina agrees that they go to the dance as BFF's and enjoy the "most fun night ever"! Poor Tina.

Jake asks Puck for advice on Marley and Kitty. Puck tells little Puck to stay away from Kitty. What cute bros.

Unfortunately, Puck doesn't take his own advice and he goes to Kitty to tell her to stay away from Jake. So she acknowledges it by asking Puck to go. He agrees as long as she pays for everything. Classic Puckerman. (We know he doesn't go to Jared).

Glee Club, as always, is responsible for the music at the dance, so... queue No Scrubs... which doesn't really fit into the storyline... but it's a fun, well done song, nonetheless. I dug it. Plus-- classic independent black woman, Artie Abrahms takes some of the lead. LOVE that.

Coach Beiste tells the single ladies (hey Lauren Zizes, miss ya girrrrrl!) to get out there and get what's theirs. So, they do. Lauren to Joe, Sugar to Artie. I celebrated by throwing both fists into the air, in a very Zizes-manner.

Meanwhile, in NYC, Kurt tries to get involved at NYADA. So, he signs up for Adam's Apples, even though Rachel tells him it's basically social suicide. Rachel, since when do you care what people think?!

He meets a new British upperclassman. Aye Karumba! His name... it's Adam.

Adam tries to convince Kurt to join. He and the Apples sing a (apparently "ripped-off"... even though it's not illegal. #sigh #enoughdrama) version of Johnathan Coulton's Baby Got Back, which in my opinion was awesome.

Rachel is trying to leave McKinley in the past, tells Kurt "this isn't like high school" and advises him to ask Adam out, because "things move fast in the city". Hey, New Rachel -- you're trying to grow up too fast. ENJOY NEW YORK & COLLEGE YA CRAZY!

Kurt ends up asking Adam out and they exchange numbers. (Insert a w00t w00t here).

Back at McKinley, Tina and Blaine are dancing and my one true pair new favorites almost share a kiss. BUT Sam interrupts. DAMN YOU SAM! DAMN YOU!

Sam interrupts because he's got a break in the "Dalton Cheated" scandal.

The girls then sing a version of Locked Out of Heaven, which was sexual. Puck and Kitty must have felt the sexualness, because the two go out to her car to have at each other. Is it weird that I totally ship Pitty? (I know, I'm a ship whore. Leave me alone.)

Meanwhile, Sam and Blaine go get Finn because they find out that Dalton has been using steroids... and according to the rule book, all performance enhancing drugs (including Four Loko, Count Boozey von Drunk-a-Ton) are illegal in the show choir world. So they get Trenton Warbler to admit to the 'roid scandal. Queue BLAM celebration, because New Directions will get the spot! (Weren't they disqualified? Wouldn't the spot go to the other showchoir that sang She’ll Be Coming Around the Mountain get the spot? Whatever...)

And over in NYC, Rachel is cleaning up dinner that she was supposed to have with Brody, but he's 45 minutes late, which makes for a very angry Rachel Berry. Even though it's not his fault because the train was late, she doesn't give him any leeway. Whatever... I think she's getting crazier.

Alas, Brody disagrees with me, and thinks that Rachel is right. So he asks her to dance. Weirdly enough, they're dancing to Ryder's version of I Only Have Eyes For YOu which he's singing at the dance, while Little Puckerman and Marley love each other, OTP Blina Anderchang are working it, Bram is dancing, and some cheerleader with a neckbrace is giving Ryder the eye (Where'd she come from? She's been eyeing him all episode). #whoacrossovers

SO, Brody vows to never be late again. He's going to get an apartment in the city! YAY!

WAIT THOUGH! Rachel says "screw that!" (not really), "Why don't you just move in here?" (really), and... the episode ends. DUN DUN DUN!

...And that's what you missed on Glee!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney

Gleecap: Glee 4x10 - 'Glee Actually' Recap

In case you weren't in the gleeful spirit during the holidays, much like the Grinch, Scrooge, or George Bailey pre-dream sequence, then here's what you missed on a complex, yet overall quite joyous holiday special, Glee 4x10- "Glee Actually":

Storyline #1: Artie has a George Bailey-esq dream in which he sings Feliz Navidad.

The plot of the dream: Glee Club doesn't exist. It shows Rory (Damian McGinty) as his "ghost of Christmas present", Artie walking, Terri married to an alcoholic Will, Finn & Puck still football jocks, but Rachel graduated and never left Lima, Quinn died, and I guess Santana and Mercedes never existed... Just a whole bunch of nonsense, essentially. Either way, it's always fun seeing Kevin McHale put on his best dance moves.

Storyline #2: In New York, Burt Hummel surprises Rachel & Kurt with a visit and a Christmas tree for their apartment. The three spend the evening decorating, but then Rachel leaves for a cruise with her two gay dads. She is Jewish, don't forget.

Burt surprises Kurt, yet again, with another Christmas present: He flew Blaine to NYC because I guess Blaine doesn't have a family of his own that he should be spending Christmas with. So they basically have to sing a duet, which results in a semi-awkward rendition of White Christmas.

Oh yeah, Burt has cancer, too. That guy can't catch a break.

Storyline #3: Sam and Brittany both believe in the Mayan apocalypse. So, Britt cashes in her life savings to buy all of her friends extravagant gifts. Like, for instance, a new car for Tina. Basically, I should have befriended Brittany before doomsday. #mybad.

Sam serenades Brittany with Jingle Bell Rock. It was mediocre at best. Then he proposes. They get married. What?!

Beiste then reveals to them later, after they survive the apocalypse, that she was not a legal officiator, so their wedding wasn't real. Darn.

Storyline #4: Puck invites Jake to come back to LA with him. He does. They ride a motorcycle with a sidecar. I didn't know they still make those.

Then the duo sings Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah on the Paramount lot. Good thing that's where Glee films. That would have been one expensive location to rent out ;)

When Jake learns that Puck is living in a crappy apartment - not the million dollar mansion that one of his pool-cleaning clients was living in - they decide to go back to Lima. Because it's the most cost-efficient solution?

They decide to have Christmas dinner together. Jake, his mom (played by Aisha Taylor), Puck and his mom. Even though Puck's mom and Jake's mom don't like each other.

Unexpected plot twist: THEY DO LIKE EACH OTHER! After Puck says that their dad did one thing right - made that family - they cheers, and the lovely ladies find they have a lot in common. Mainly, the boys' dad.

Storyline #5: Marley's mom addresses the fact that Marley has an eating disorder, so she's sending her to a therapist. Unfortunately, that means no Christmas presents, because they can't afford it. So Marley sings Silent Night to her mom, instead.

Sue draws Marley's mom's name in the faculty Christmas exchange. She overhears that Marley isn't getting a Christmas.

Sue's heart grows three sizes, she pawns off her pine tree to a luxury toothpick company, and on Christmas morning, Marley and her mother wake up to a lot of presents and $800 cash, complements of one Sue Sylvester.

Marley's mom brings Sue into the auditorium for her "thank you" gift, which is Marley & New Directions singing Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.

...And that's what you missed on Glee!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney

Gleecap: Glee 4x08 - 'Thanksgiving' Recap

In case you missed this week's episode of Glee, which I'm not sure why you would because all the Old Directions came back and let's face it, they're the reason we fell in love with this show in the first place, so why wouldn't you watch when they're all together, in the same room, singing the same songs, and... YOU JUST CAN'T SIT WITH US, OKAY?! ... Sorry, we're talking about Glee, not Mean Girls. Anyways, in case you missed it, here is your Gleecap for Glee episode 4x08: "Thanksgiving":

It started off with a promising sequence consisting of Quinn, Puck, Mike, Santana Mercedes and Finn singing a mashup of "Homeward Bound/Home". It brought a simultaneous tear and smile to our faces. Apparently the old gang decided to promise to come home for break. Almost all of them did.

Marley has a very Rachel Berry-esq monologue at the beginning about the pressure she's feeling and her dreams. All we gathered from it though was that Skeet Ulrich gave her a bouquet of kittens in her dreams.

Take 2 of the Old gang being back together. Puck is telling tales of LA that we don't quite understand. Then they all talk about how they are glad they came back. Then Finn decides that he needs there help.

He wants to take advantage of the Old Directions being back, so he makes them mentors. Really, though just the newbies. Really though, just 4 of them get specific mentors. Really, I wasn't exactly sure why some had single mentors and others didn't but I guess that's beside the point. #logic #continuity

Marley's mentor = Santana. Kitty's mentor = Quinn. Unique's mentor = Mercedes. Jake's mentor = Puck. Mike is teaching everyone how to dance, particularly the leading man which [Spoiler Alert!] happens to be Ryder. Funny how that worked out.

Finn lays out the plan for Sectionals: Blaine and Marley handle the duet (shocker there) and the group number would be "Gangnam Style".

Santana retors with a hilarious comment about how no one knows how to dance except Britt and that their hand jive looked more like hand jo.... you get the picture.

Jake tells Ryder that he and Marley "aren't official" and if he wants him to end it, he would. In true bro-friendship style, Ryder tells Jake that he doesn't have to stop seeing Marley. But, on the other hand, he better not take away the lead role in Sectionals... because that's how normal teenagers negotiate.

The new, and gorgeous Rachel and always-chic Kurt take a walk through New York city debating whether or not they should go back for Thanksgiving, and ultimately decide that they wouldn't. They'd just hang out at the apartment.

Now back to Ohio, where the Men are teaching the boys how to dance in a dance off that Ryder wins... And the Women are teaching the girls. Queue an Unholy Trinity number called "Come See About Me", where Quinn informs the girls that they knew each other so well that they knew when to shake and when to shimmy just by the twitch of Santana's lip. I didn't really get this number... 1) Because Santana acted as a background singer, and that's just untrue, and 2) It was non-eventful. Just an excuse to get the Unholy Trinity to sing. [Don't get us wrong, we love the Unholy Trinity as much as the next person, and this DID give us excellent Season 1 feels, but I would have loved for this number to have a meaning behind it. cc: the lyrics?]

Uh oh, trouble on the front line, superheroes, where's Blaine?! Finn unveils that Night Bird may have left to go to Dalton, because everything at McKinley reminded him too much of Kurt. #wompwomp #wompwompwomp

Jake decides to hand Ryder a note that shows off his "kyrptonite". Ryder tells him to be a man and tell him face-to-face. Jake accepts the challenge and says that he's insecure about his mixed race. Ryder's kryptonite in response: He couldn't read Jake's note. (Gasp x 3!)

Now back to New York! Brody and Rachel have a little interaction where Brody apologizes for sleeping with Cassie, and promises he wouldn't do it again, and to make up for it, he'd cook her and Kurt Thanksgiving dinner at her place. Again... because this is how normal 19 year olds negotiate.

Carrie Bradshaw Isabelle asks Kurt about Blaine, and Kurt informs her that he "closed the door on that sad saga" (side note: as much as we would LOVE that to be true, I'm going to take a stab and call him a liar). She informs him that he should accept an apology from the guy. Oh, and somewhere in there he invites her over to their apartment for Thanksgiving.

Back to Ohio! #keepup! Kitty tells Quinn about Jake and Marley in a manipulative way that makes it seem like Jake is taking advantage of Marley, so when he and Puck are walking down the hall, and Puck is praising him for his Bros before Hoes attitude, Quinn turns ultra bitch and tells Jake to back off Marley otherwise they'd lose sectionals.

It another oh-so-enlightening mentoring session, Quinn tells Kitty to smile at the judges. Because that will help them win sectionals. Enter Santana who comes in to tell Quinn that Kitty is giving Marley laxitives and that Kitty was pure evil. She's so smart, that Santana...

Quinn then enlightens Santana, telling her that she's jealous of Quinn because Quinn is dating her psych professor. Since Santana was so aware of that situation, she screams out the "Twitter Update" of the century, saying that Quinn was letting another man define her life. Then Quinn said something about Santana being too scared to follow her dreams (first thing we've liked Quinn for all episode). Things get heated, Santana mentions something about Quinn never seeing Beth, and Quinn slaps Santana. So, in true Santana fashion, she slaps Quinn back. Then Brittany steps in asking what they were doing. I personally would have much rather heard "Stop the violence", but clearly, things aren't the way they once were. Still though I love those fights that Santana points out that Quinn's a maaaahhther.

Ryder is trying to figure out how to dance to "Gangnam Style", but he just can't figure it out. So Ballerina Jake comes in to help him. And they work on it together. They're such bros.

Conveniently for him, Ryder decides that now that he knows what his learning disability is, he should stay in on Friday and study. So he cancels his plans with Marley. Marley, trying to be self-confident after a knock from Kitty, decides to go up and ask Jake out on a date. And he accepts. Thanks for the advice Big Bro!

Back in New York, Brody is bagging up the turkey, Kurt's complaining about the use of the bag and the use of the turkey as a courtship device between Brochel, and Rachel mentions that Sectionals are starting. Conclusion: no one is eating the turkey.

BACK TO OHIO, sheesh! Marley is getting ready for sectionals, she feels bad for eating a tic tac, and then the kids, the children - all of them Old and New - get into a show circle, and start praying. Because they've done that before.

The Warblers open up sectionals with "Whistle" and "Live While We're Young". Both were decent performances, even though that Hunter kid kind of creeps us out a little bit.

In New York, Thanksgiving turns into a Kiki (No, not Brittany's cell phone friend) when the three New Yorkers sit down for dinner and Carrie Isabelle's friends knock at the door for the party. Isabelle is late, but shows up just in time for them to lock the door tight and start the party with a great rendition of "Let's Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time". 'Twas my favorite performance of the night and we got to see Brooke Lipton! Yay!

Back at Sectionals, Will shows up and the New Directions + Emma get excited about it. We weren't.

Oh yeah, and then the Rosedale Mennonites performed "Over the River and Through the Woods/She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain". This was my second favorite performance of the night.

Kurt decides to call Blaine right before the New Directions are getting ready to take stage. It was emotional. Blah blah blah. Blaine apologizes for the 104982035th time and Kurt says that they'll talk over Christmas Break. The best part of this scene was the love for SJP that I felt when she hugged Kurt after the phone call was complete.

Marley is still feeling pressure of Sectionals resting on her shoulders, especially because of her weight, and she's oh so hungry. Jake assures her that she'll do great and that they'll win. Upon overhearing, Ryder tells Jake that he needs to take over the male lead to ensure a victory. So he does.

The New Directions take the stage with "Gangnam Style", which wasn't great in my opinion, but the dancing was fun and Tina was Oh-So-cute while she was singing. It wasn't racist at all, though.

Then Marley passes out on stage. Enter cliffhanger here.

...And that's what you missed on Glee!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney

Gleecap: Glee 4x07 - 'Dynamic Duets' Recap

We know it was Thanksgiving and all, but shouldn't your family know by now that nothing comes between you and your Glee, not even the most succulent turkey, delicious mashed potatoes, savory green bean casserole and the most scrumptious pumpkin pie? BRB we're hungry... while we're gone, make yourself busy and catch up on what you missed on last week's Glee episode: 4x07 "Dynamic Duets". Nom nom nom nom nom...

This week's Glee opens up at the Superhero Club meeting, which basically consists of only Glee club members and Becky. I'm shocked that we haven't heard of this before.

Crisis of the week: The New Directions' Nationals trophy was stolen. (GASP!)

Never fear, turns out Night Bird (aka Blaine Warbler) has a special power that just so happens to recover lost trophies. So he goes to Dalton Academy to recover said trophy, and they tell him that they'll give it back if Blaine rejoins the Warblers.

He of course says, "No" but they take him to the dark side by: (dun dun dunnnn), making him sing "My Dark Side" WHILE wearing a Warblers jacket. (Gasp x 2!)

Meanwhile, back at WMHS, Finn is unsurprisingly struggling as the Glee Club leader, and Tina is still alive.

He decides to make the theme of the week "Dynamic Duets". Everyone had to dress up as superheros, and Ryder + Jake had to sing together, and Kitty + Marley had to sing together, just so that they could squash their differences.

Ryder and Jake decide that they're both Mega Studs (um what?) and they think that they should sing "I am Superman" to try and win the love of that Absolutely Stunning Kind-Faced Blue Eyed Gir, Marley. But they end up beating each other up.

To get them to really squash their differences, Finn tells them to tell one another their biggest fears.

In the other dynamic duo, Kitty takes it upon herself to dress up as Femme Fatale and decide their song should be "Holding Out For A Hero".

Marley, still self conscious doesn't want to dress up in a super hero costume. But after trying it on, and Kitty convincing her that she looked hot- insert alterior motif right here- Marley decides she'll wear the costume, and go as Woman Fierce. P.S. the performance was great and Teen Jesus' hair turned into a whip...

Uh oh, trouble on the front line, superheroes, where's Blaine?! Finn unveils that Night Bird may have left to go to Dalton, because everything at McKinley reminded him too much of Kurt. #wompwomp #wompwompwomp

Jake decides to hand Ryder a note that shows off his "kyrptonite". Ryder tells him to be a man and tell him face-to-face. Jake accepts the challenge and says that he's insecure about his mixed race. Ryder's kryptonite in response: He couldn't read Jake's note. (Gasp x 3!)

Jake tells Finn about Ryder's disability, and Finn takes Ryder to see a special education teacher. He finds out he's dyslexic. He thanks Finn, but Finn tells him that Jake's the real hero (insert creys).

Jake stands up to the jocks during lunch, as they, once again are making fun of Marley's mom. #sadpanda. As the jocks surround Jake to fight him, Ryder steps in and tells them that he has Jake's back. (I smell a new studly BFF duo over here.)

Sam talks to Blaine about Kurt. Blaine whines some more about how awful he felt about cheating on Kurt. Sam basically told him to man-up and tell Kurt that. #seriouslybro #manup

Together, Blam sings "Heroes" by David Bowie. It was a good duet. And the performance was basically adorbs, because the Glee club was doing some community service which ended in a paint fight, which we loved, and then the song concluded with Wham, Blam, thank you ma'am taking the Glee Club's Nationals trophy back to McKinley.

Jake decides to give older brother Puck a call (since I guess they do that now?) to get a little brotherly advice on how to get Marley to like him, without intentionally sabotaging Ryder, since they're BFFs now (all this back and forth relationship talk is confusing us).

Puck, who is making money dressed as... wouldn't you know it? A superhero named the PuckerMan on Hollywood Blvd, tells Jake to hang back, be cool, don't be a dick, and let her come to him. So that's what Jake decides to do.

Conveniently for him, Ryder decides that now that he knows what his learning disability is, he should stay in on Friday and study. So he cancels his plans with Marley. Marley, trying to be self-confident after a knock from Kitty, decides to go up and ask Jake out on a date. And he accepts. Thanks for the advice Big Bro!

Then, in true-Glee fashion, the episode concludes with "Some Nights" by Fun. And it was Fun.

...And that's what you missed on Glee!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney

Gleecap: Glee 4x05 - 'The Role You Were Born to Play' Recap

So after a five week hiatus, Glee returned last week with "The Role You Were Born to Play". And after those awful break ups, we can understand why you may have missed the episode for reasons like locking yourself in a coffin after those awful breakups or driving yourself insane from the possibilities that lie ahead with each relationship. So incase that was you, here's what you missed on Glee 4x05 "The Role You Were Born to Play":

The episode starts off with Finn whining about not having anything to look forward to. Artie encourages to direct the Musical... beacause Finn is Artie's hero. I'm not sure I agree with this - for reasons I'll explain later - but he agrees nonetheless.

Blaine the cheater... who's apparently hopelessly devoted to Kurt, doesn't think he can play Danny Zuko. So he auditions for the musical, singing "Hopelessly Devoted", but thinks he can only MAYBE play Teen Angel, since, you know, he's so heartbroken and all. #what?

Finn decides that he doesn't think he's cut out for directing, but Artie is here to save the day by bringing in reinforcements by the names of Mercedes Jones and Mike Chang. Because most college kids can just take off school to help with their high school's musical.

Beiste also returns this episode with some hilarity in the form of Wemma Couple's Counseling... So that's a treat... and Emma decides during this sesh that she'd like to go to Washington with Will. We don't buy it Emma...

Unique wants to play Rizzo, but doesn't think she'll get cast as the part. If Sue Sylvester has anything to do with it, Unique won't get Riz. Marley decides she wants to audition for Sandy. Sue tries to discourage them with insults, but it's nearly impossible to bash Absolutely Stunning Kind Face Blue Eyed Girl Marley.

Marley and Unique decide to do a joint audition after an unwanted, inappropriate, and rather grotesque excellent pinky link, and together they ruin sing "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)".

Since they can't find anyone to play Danny (and they really tried hard?) Finn decides that he would take matters into his own hands and find someone who can make a difference. Enter Ryder Lynn.

Finn encourages Rider to try out for the musical, but Ryder is struggling with his grades. Find out he gets a C- on his latest test, even though he studied for hours. He decided, with the help of Finn, that the best way to improve your grades is to add more extra-curriculars to your schedule.

Finn and Ryder sing "Jukebox Hero" with a bunch of jukeboxes surrounding them, and that concludes Ryder's audition. #normalpolicies

When Ryder finds out he's probably going to play Danny and Marley's probably going to play Sandy, he introduces himself and the two have so much chemistry, it could set the school on fire.

Puck Jake gets jealous and decides he wants to try out for the musical as Danny. Kitty decides she wants to try out for Sandy just to spite Marley. #drama

Together Jake and Kitty try out with "Everybody Talks". It was actually a pretty hawt audition. I dug it. Big time.

The old Directions decide that they'd call back the 4 Danny/Sandy auditions and have a perforamnce-off with "Born To Hand Jive". Hands down the best performance of the night, as it was kicked off by one Mercedes Jones, and the tension in the performance was just like the tension you felt in "Grease".

Tina doesn't want to try out for the musical because Mike is back to direct. More tension comes when he tells her she needs to try out because she'd make the perfect Jan. I dig the Tike tension, for showw.

Sue tries to discourage Finn from casting Unique as Rizzo, and he retorts by calling her baby retarded. Smart Finn. Smart. #PickANewHeroArtie

Oh. Don't forget about the far-too-long interaction between Will and Emma where Emma tells him that she doesn't want to go to Washington. So.. she's not going to. #wasteoffiveminutes

When Schue tells Finn that he's leaving, Finn gets all whiney and stuff, but Schue decides it's time for Finn to start calling him Will, put on a sweater vest, and take over the New Directions.

The cast list is decided at the end, and you can see who's playing what roles here: Glease Cast List. We personally find this cast-list to be GOLD. Particularly the role of Patty Simcox.

And here's what you didn't miss: Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Quinn Fabray, Noah Puckerman, a talking Brittany, a good Wemma scene, a tremendous performance, Finn being the hero that he is, Mike Chang's abs, or logic and continuity.

...And that's what you missed on Glee!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie and Whitney

P.S. I apologize if you found the tone of this message to be sarcastic or harsh. Not meant to be - just not one of my favorite episodes. That's okay tho! Can't like 'em all, huh? What'd you think?? Hit us up in the comments below, or on Twitter at @TroutyMouthBlog.

Gleecap: Glee 4x04 - 'The Break Up' Recap

In case you missed this week's episode, which would have been silly because we all knew this was going to be the world's worst best episode filled with heartbreaking moments and showstopping scenes, or maybe that's why you didn't watch. Maybe you didn't want it to feel like your heart was getting ripped out of your chest in six different ways, then stopped on, thrown against a wall, cut in to pieces... and well, anyways.. here's what you missed:

The show opens up at McKinley with some harmless flirting between Marley and Jake. Brittany and Blaine realize that they miss this with their respective lovers.

Flip to New York, and Kurt is making some brunch for Rachel & Finn. Come to find out that Rachel and Finn barely even spoke over night.

Let's change the awkward. Turns out Finn got semi-honorably discharged from the army, and has been backpacking through Georgia for the last four months... apparently without a cell phone? #becausewerein1800 #nohewasembarrased #butstill

Now switch to Santana's bedroom. The girls are folding some laundry. Turns out that Santana likes being at Louisville so that she can come home every few weeks so that she can see Brittany every few weeks.

Kurt and Blaine keep missing some phone dates and stuff. It's been really hard for them. They all seem to be feeling a little... out of place without their significant others.

Insert the nineties classic, Barely Breathing. Probably my third favorite performance of the night.

Finn, Rachel & Kurt are getting ready to go out at "Callbacks", when [surprise!] Blaine shows up at the door with flowers for Mr. Kurt Hummel.

Queue awesome karaoke bar where the NYADA kids hang out and order Virgin Amaretto Sours.

Brody encourages Finn to sing with Rachel, but basically Finn just surrenders his role as Rachel's boyfriend to Brody, so Brochel sings Give Your Heart A Break.

Then Blaine decides that he wants to sing a song to "the Love of [his] Life". So, he sings an original: Teenage Dream. Kidding. It's not original, but what he does is original. Acoustic. Acoustic and emotional?

On the walk home, Finn accuses Rachel of being more-than-friends with Brody. She admits she kissed him, but only because he said that he was setting her free at the end of last season. He's stupid -- HIS words, not mine.

Blaine tells Kurt that he's been with someone... like WITH someone. Bla-cheater.

Queue Don't Speak. It was a little awkward. They didn't speak. They just sang. And they had this weird bedroom scene where the couples were sharing their respective beds, but clearly distant from one another. And Blaine had on really cool pajamas. #sarcasm

Since they went to bed not speaking, Finn decides it's best not to speak some more. So he sneaks out. Kurt catches him because he's waiting for Blaine to wake up. But when he asks Finn if he should tell Rachel anything, Finn says "No". I'm assuming he'll just call her from that magical cell phone from the 1800s.

Back at McKinley, Kitty asks Marley to the next "Left Behind" club, which accepts losers and lezzies, but not Muslims. So she holds a rapture.

In the words of Santana Lopez, "What the hell are you talking about Kitty?" Yep, she's talking about Armageddon, and we best get right with God, because Jesus booked himself a flight back to Earth... through Orbitz... so that He can judge the crap out of people.

Then she pulls a prank on Dottie, Tina's assistant. Everyone leaves and lays out their clothes for a fake rapture. And Dottie thinks she gets left behind. She cries about it.

Queue a second-lair of feelings: Santana wants to go home, and doesn't think the club is good for Brittany. But Brittany tells her that being left behind sucks, and Santana had left her behind. It feels like she's hypervenilating. Now I'm hyperventilating.

Finn goes back to McKinley, and Finn wants to talk to Mr. Schue, which translates into "Can I hug you and cry?" He does.

Blaine and Finn have an awkward confrontation in the choir room where Finn asks Blaine why he did that to Kurt. No one knows, but everyone's excited about Finn being back at McKinley. He helps them pick a musical: "Grease".

As we saw last week, Schue is following his dreams. He's officially on the Blue Ribbon Panel to Improve Arts Education. He wants Emma to come with her, but Emma doesn't want to go. They have a fight. And Emma tells Schue off. It was awesome.

Kurt gets make up flowers. And then he gets hit on by one of his office mates... Well maybe he was just being nice, either way I liked it.

Santana calls Brittany into the choir room and tells her that sophomore year she "counted the days she smiled at her and died on the days she didn't". Basically it was like a kick to the balls.

Then she sang Mine. They both cried. Both loved each other a lot. Then broke up? Or something? It wasn't "official" but it pretty much felt official. That WAS a kick to the balls... I don't care if you have them or not... it hurt.

[Side note: Heather Morris gets all the awards. Showstopping scene alert.]

Jake apologizes to Marley for the rapture. Then Kitty gets jealous. And gets mouthy with Marley. Then Jake breaks up with her. Aw snap!

The next showstopping scene comes from Lea Michele. She finds Finn in the auditorium. And the scene starts off sweet. But then Rachel starts going off because he wouldn't pick up his 1800s cell phone or answer texts etched in stone.

The real kicker: She thought he was a man. Then he treated her like a little girl. And she told him he was not acting like a man. She really sets him in his place.

...Then they break up. This time you're punched in the face.

Then all the couples sing The Scientist. The scene itself wasn't that emotional -- but the flashbacks were. And also the song. The song was emotional. Basically it was the icing on the cake from Hell.

And that's what you missed on Glee! It was quite sad. It made me very sad. But weirdly, enough, it was quite an impressive episode!

Peace.Love.Glee
-Bonnie & Whitney